i think n think

wel i gues the letting go process didn't really work on me... coz my feeling is too strong for him... i really love him... now i understand that all this while the reason i keep on pestering him to be with me is becoz i need him... i really do...
 
for the past few days, i've been trying to keep everything to myself... been trying not to kol him... jus to find out whether he really need me or not... wel i gues so not... but one think for sure, i'm being to over paranoid... coz even wen he's sick, i nag... even wen he didnt talk on the fone, i'm pissed... even wen he dun want to meet me, i'm thinking negetively...
 
haiz... sometimes i ever wonder how long i have to stand this process of being together... its killing me coz i want him... i dun want him to betray my trust, my love, my affection n everything that i gave to only him... like i once said i only need him to tell me his whereabout... n i gues now i jus need him to eventually be more respondive towards our conversation...
 
n yah sometimes he did give me a surprise conversation or question... for sometimes i tot i never that he do care for me... for the past months or weeks been together, he's been giving me a cold shoulder... sometime he care, sometimes he dun...
 
but now i gues i'll give him time on his own... wel not really he go his way, i'll go my way... hei i'm here trying my best to understand his situation... i want to be the best for him... trying to be the one... never been that easy ok!.. .so i hope he will understand my effort n i'll understand y he's doing thing this way...
 
haiz... i really miss those days... on how i wish things will go back to those days.. .