Still Searching

hmmm.. strange tat i here totally without you...

its been 1 week since we last met... the last eating together... the last i saw your face... the last i feel comfortable wen i'm with you... the last i really plead for you... the last i cried for you... the last i hear those sweet words... the last of my happy moment with you...

its been 3 days since i last chat with you... last i talked to you... the last i know that you are still alrite... the last i think of you lovely.. the last i can even be proud to have you... the last i find my life is totally nthing without you... totally cant live without you...

but now, i gues i've slowly move on with life... slowly i open up my heart to life but not love... slowly i accept people as who they are... slowly i open my eyes to the truth... slowly i find happiness on my own... slowly i filled up my life with people ard me...

though it totally hard for me to move jus like that... leaving all the memories behind... wave them goodbye... making my last step in the world of called full of love...

i live my life jus like yours... exactly the same like how u live your life... except that i haven really make myself close to god... but at least i'm trying rite now... wat they said was rite... to change life you got to sacrifice a lot of things... n now i gues i'm sacrificing my past... my frens.. my time... my thoughts.. my feelings.. my everything...

my belief is still strong... my love for you is still the same... jus that i change my way in life... i shut my ears wen ppl nag or talk abt you... i watch wat i say abt you... i close the door to others...

in a way i find it suffering, but it all worth while... i'm still searching for a place where i can really name it after me... a place where i can really find happiness again.. a place where i've been dreaming for all this while...

how i wish i never miss you so bad... how i wish i never lvoe you so much... or even fall for you so deeply... not to say that i regret being with you... but the situation make me suffer everyday...

everyday i wish that you would be alrite... wish that he will open up your eyes n heart... make you see the world as wat it is.. make you feel the love that was all around you all this while...

i realise that there's alot of ppl who still love us.. who still hope for us... who still wish that we could be back again... i'm jus thankful to have them by my side... letting me noe that everything is alrite.. giving me the confidence in proceeding life... giving me the support that i need all this while...

though i miss having a tender loving care from sumone i would die for.. i miss the person the lights up my life with his present.. miss everything that i once had... miss seeing him standing rite in front of my eyes... miss his laughter... miss him singing his favourite song which i think that he sing it for me... miss everything... but luckily, ppl jus make me love him even more...

like i once said, the more i miss you, i hate you, the more i love you... n now the more you drift far away from me, the more i feel like coming closer to you... but its jus that time dun allow me to do so...