Just Convincing Life

Never thought that life can be this hard to accept the fact that we have to be this way... no matter how hard i try not to make it happen... but sad to say, its happening rite now... the changes that i have to accept... the love that i have to kept deep within... i let my heart n love suffer jus becos i'm pleasing him n convincing myself that everything is ok...

Convincing n lying myself thru life was the worst moment i need to do... it really hurt me... it really brain wash my mind... Lately i've been thinking that he's been doing the same old thing that he once told me... Wen he didn't pick up the phone at nite, i assume that he's asleep... wen i msg him and didnt reply, maybe he's bz... wen i kol him several times without even picking up one of my kol, i assume that he's either bz or asleep... wen he hardly talk on the phone, i convince that he's either tired or maybe he's getting sleepy... all i can think of a reason y he's doing this is becoz, he's tired or bz or he's sleeping...

yah i noe he's not giving a reasonable answer... but nevermind... if that his kind of character, i jus have to accept him as who he is rite now... common la... if i can do it last time, fall for him even when he made a mistake... waiting for him for almost 4-5 years.. feeling the hurt, the pain, the happiness, the joy, the everything, i gues i can do it rite now... but its jus a matter of surviving...

i barely survive rite now... i'm trying to swim slowly to eventually reach to the shore.. eventhough i could swim properly... sad rite... but this is life... sumtimes up... sumtimes down... i treat all this as a challanges..

But let me tell u this, having to see or hear him changing, he indirectly have influance me along... changing for the good or for the worst, i still couldnt decide... sometimes i jus felt like i'm like him... sometimes i felt that i'm changing to be the goodilicious... haiz... jus another unconstant side of me...

taking this opportunity to thank him for the changes... you really change my life... you change almost everything... but there's one thing for sure, you can't change the way i feel for you... the harder for me to get you, the deeper i fall for you... strange but true...

n yah this song is jus too nice for us... suits the situation rite now.. either one of us plays apart in this song....

"I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you "