My First Love

I never thought I'd ever learn to Love,
the way simple lovers do.
I always believed it was impossible.
Yet I found myself so in love with you.
Now I know exactly what love truly is
and you are my reason why;
You convinced me to let you in my soul . . .
And you promised you would never lie.
I have learned to cherish and trust you,
In a way I never had before.
And if anything were ever to happen,
My Love,
I think I would only love you more.
I fought my feelings along the way,
but in the end it remains still true -
I have finally found My love in life.
(Just like you always knew. )
If you told me once, you told me twice,
Just how beautiful love could be.
Yet I never realized until now,
that you were speaking of you and me.
You have brought me such happiness,
it takes all my sadness away.
And with my endless loyalty
I will so lovingly repay.
You are my love in life.
This I will never forget.
You are the Love of my Life,
This I knew from the moment we met.

A Part Of You

I miss the way you make me feel as if everything revolved around me,
How you would just call me up to tell me the silliest things,
How you would call in the middle of anything just make me guess where you were.

I miss the way you make me feel as if I were the center of your universe,
How you needed to know every little plan I make,
How you wanted to know where I was at any single moment.

I miss the way you make me feel as if I were your life,
How it felt as if work and school were just intrusions to our time together,
How every little whim I had about having you beside me was followed.

I miss the way it feels to be your sun, moon and stars,
How it feels to go to sleep with a smile, your voice the last thing I hear
(and sometimes, with you beside me),
How it feels to wake up to a wonderful day and smile,
For your voice is the first thing I hear.

I miss the way it feels to be a part of you.

I still dun understand

haiz... i really dun understand y am i still feeling this way... sudden jealous... sudden angry.. sudden sensitive... sudden of everything...

yesterday, i cry myself to sleep... do u noe that nas?.. i dun think so... i was jus hurt wen u told me that what u did before was by force... OUCH!!! meaning of ouch is pain... i start to think back to our conversation before.. i ask you a question... DEN IF ITS NOT BASE ON LOVE, ALL THIS WHILE IS BASE ON WHAT?... haiz think about it la... i love him siak... with all my heart... maybe i should say all my life... really dissapointing... till now, u still treat me this way... not giving me answer while what u been doing prove everything.. not wanting to confess eventhough deep in my heart i noe your feeling is true... it really hurt me again jus to noe that everything is not going to work out...

want to noe y i'm being like a stalker or phycho(like wat u said), coz i dun want to lose u this time round... i really want to prove to ppl that your good... i dun want them to noe u as nas who always hurt my feelings... i dun want ppl to search for u jus coz u hurt me... even though u didnt mean it... i dun really understand...

actually thing that cock up everything is SHAZILA.. she ruin everything... my friendship.. my trust.. my connection between nas... n things make me fed up is that she never had enouf of interfering in our life... yes true enouf me n him r nothing... but the chemistry is jus there... jus how it feels like to have a girl interfering your life together... noeing that everything is going to work out... sure pissed off rite... frankly, things bt me n him almost work out till one day she come... n now she jus dun want to be out... come on la... she no longer with him.. fuck him upside down... calling him a jerk... putting fault on to him without leaving a single fault on her... and u think i'm satisfide with that.. NO!no!... thing i dun understand y she still need to bring up the past... past is past what... everything is all over... FUCKING BITCH! oops sori not that.. ITS FUCKING WHORE...

What's happening?

I dun understand y am i feeling this way... What do i do to deserve all this?... the love and care i have for him is never enouf to gain everything back... how i wish i could turn back to the past... redo backt he mistake that i've done... make everything perfect... make him fall for me eventhough i'm not perfect...

seems like i've done everything... the sacrifices, the time management, the love, maybe my life... i did everything jus to gain back his trust, his love, his concern, his presence... how mcuh hurt i've gone thru this thing for almost three years being single.. excluding the year when i'm with him...

i thot wen i'm with him, he will be the goddess among every guy.. thru features, he's nice n sweet... but sad enouf to noe his true self in the mid relationship... nobady can no the pain that i went thru alone... not my frens nor my family... how hard i try to get out of the black hole... how hard i try to convience myself that everything is ok...

they've seen my smile... my laughter... my joy... but have anyone see my true heart... the heart that keep on burning till now... i gues it have turned into ashes den back to normal den burn again den ashes again... basicly that the whole process over n over again...

sori to say this, but i'm really a two-face person... i fake everything in front of people... i show to people that i'm strong... i understand everything... i survive in a battle... but do the noe the truth?... NO..

now i miss him so much... i really wish i could be with him for the rest of my life... but i gues he've never been serious in everything i do.. i try to prove my love, he neglet it aside... i try to prove that i'm the one, he play me feeling over n over again... i try to prove him that i'll marry him one day, he never give me the confident in it too... it really hurt me to hear his responds like that.. it totally insulting... but does he noe... i dun thing so... coz i manage to play along with it... i gues he dun even noe my way of sincere words n sarcastic words... *sobs**sobs*